The Gift We Gave Our Girls

by Lisa Peters

(Originally posted May 2, 2002)--Here is our nursing story

I suppose I should start at the beginning--my husband Dean & I planned when we wanted to start our family. Our prenatal period was a long one. In preparation for this big event we consulted Doctor Mark ( as we called him) about folic acid intake, when it should be started & other child birthing questions. We got books to read, after all we'd never done this before, but wanted very much to have as much knowledge as possible.

Once we knew we were pregnant that wasn't really the surprise---TWINS was..... kinda?! 1st question our doc asked after diagnosing twins-Going to breastfeed? Absolutely, we said without reservation. We had already committed to one baby why stop there!! So our quest for more info began......our first contact was my friend for over 10yrs, Celina, who I had watched nurse all four of her girls. She was & still is an encouragement to me. She then put two valuable phone numbers in our hands, including one where I ended up buying my twin nursing pillow; it just so happened to be a noah's ark theme.

My friend & I were talking in a grocery store one day while I was pregnant and a woman I never met before must have overheard our conversation and immediately commented on how my husband would never do the things I spoke of and I'd never last at breastfeeding. I know what you people are thinking--punch her in the nose but alas I did not. I did say to that lady 'you have no idea what kind of people we are!' So if this wasn't a big enough challenge for myself and Dean, I'm not sure what else could've been.

Aside from constantly puking all thru my pregnancy and two hospitalizations due to dehydration at that time, I did okay. Lyndsy & Casey were born just before Christmas. It was amazing to us both. The girls wouldn't eat for over 24 hrs, even with our persistence and they were choking due to the mucous in their bellies. Lyndsy was 6.6 lbs & Casey was 5.11 lbs at birth. Lyndsy did well at nursing as soon as the junk was out of her belly. Casey did not fair as well at first. So for almost two weeks I fed them seperately due to Casey being so small. She'd roll into my boob, which wasn't good for breathing you know. After all that life was pretty good. Of course there were times when I wanted to quit myself due to severe exhaustion. My twin girls and I -- 3 years later!

One time on a growth spurt, I fed the girls from 11:30 p.m. - 5:30 a.m. three nights in a row. I just pressed on. I'd sometimes pump before feeding them, getting anywhere from 4-24 oz at a time. I'm sure I could've nursed many more babies! Dean was always cheering me on and he's still my biggest supporter. He talks to women all the time about the benefits of breastfeeding. He's always said he felt like he doing it with me. We didn't try to give the girls solids till around 5.5 months but by 6 months they wanted them. They kept following our own eating utensils to our mouths.

By this time I was being scheduled for gallbladder surgery, the girls would be almost 6.5 months. I had had a couple of attacks during pregnancy -- one major and one minor -- not realizing that that's what it was. Then I began to have them regularly every month after the girls were born. The pain would be all night long but I managed. I was tired, but then during the day I would just sleep when the girls did. So the surgery happens July '99 and they all said I needed to divorce my gallbladder!!! Little did I know of what was to come. Less than three week after the surgery, I had just finished nursing Casey, this was at 10 p.m. or so. I was getting ready to nurse Lyndsy. I began to get very sweaty and then had a massive pain in my abdomen. I gave Lyndsy to Dean and said I just need to go for a walk downstairs. Whatever it was would go away. Well it didn't.

I then saw a gastro guy after the girls were a 1 year old. He explained to me that unfortunately I was one of few that suffered complications after surgery. Then he also informed me that I was one of a small percentage that has abnormal growth of my bile ducts. The abnormal growth is my bile ducts have grown inward instead of outward after my gallbladder was removed. This is a very dangerous thing especially since you can have almost the same amount of pain as you did when your gallbladder was in, you get jaundice with your liver reacting as a result too. (they will monitor me if it gets any worse I'll be scheduled for another procedure to splinter my bile ducts.) I'm just thankful to be alive!! I nursed thru all of this, I pumped & dumped, fed my girls etc & never quit even when people felt I should! I hope this encourages anyone having a medical condition & breastfeeding--YOU CAN DO IT!

As my medical condition was coming to a close, sadly, Dean and I were given a life changing moment. On December 10, 1999, just 10 days short of the girls first birthday, Casey suffered a huge setback. One of many to come. We were preparing to move into our house and I was taking a break from packing by lounging on the couch. Just three minutes into it, Lyndsy began to cry uncontrollably. I heard this voice, Lisa you NEED to open your eyes NOW!! I sat straight up looked down and Lyndsy was pointing at Casey. There she was in the shape of a boomerang, blood dripping from her mouth and her eyes. I'll never forget them- BLACK as BLACK could be & no whites at all. Dean was trying to give her CPR as I dialed 911. He yelled 'We're going to the hospital NOW-HANGUP!!' Casey wasn't breathing, she was greyish blue and her pulse oxygen dipping to the high 70's and was still dropping. She almost didn't recover as she died very briefly in the trauma room. I could feel her go and prayed as she came back!

Casey and I were shipped to our regional hospital about an hour away from home. It was so hard because here we were at the ER, Lyndsy hadn't been nursed yet in the chaos, Casey was almost gone and on top of that, Dean & Lyndsy couldn't travel with us. I did have my doctor and my friend Kathy who was a pediatric nurse (I used to babysit her kids) so it was nice to have at least one friendly face there.

They prepared me for Casey's chest being cracked open in case of emergency; perhaps I didn't know what to prepare for, but I was numb. We arrived at the hospital late that night and test after test began and they have yet to stop to this day. Casey has been hospitalized many times since then and has had many brushes with death. Yet during this time I continue to nurse them and nursing Lyndsy and Casey has given me new meaning. All of her doctors felt she was doing well due to me breastfeeding her. So I did what I continued to do -- nurse until they self-weaned.

We can't even share how we 'deleted' a feeding. It just happened as the girls permitted it. Slowly I was left with the night feeding. It was in Jan. 2001, just after Casey's MRI, that Lyndsy made the break. I was nursing Casey to sleep and Lyndsy came up to me and said, 'Mommy, I don't need bubpa (nursing as they called it) anymore. Casey needs it more!' So for the next month until February, I nursed Casey until she too stopped. They self weaned at 25/26 months, respectively. The girls up until a few months ago would still rest their cheeks against my chest for comfort. I'm so thankful for the gift we gave our girls. I still miss it but like all things these times come to pass and breakthrough for new.

Dean and I both hope this will be an encouragement to those who have nursed, those that haven't, and those who are considering what their parenting choices may be.

Dean,Lisa,Lyndsy & Casey Peters